VISITING
AUTHOR-ARTICLE
JANUARY
2010
It's Official
I May Be Older Than Dirt
By
Joseph Stein
President,
American Aid Society, Chicago
Forwarded
by American Aid Society, Chicago
WHAT A NOSTALGIC TRIP! I hope that you enjoy this, and, if
you're too young to remember, ask someone who is in their 60s
to explain. Who knows? You might develop a whole new
friendship.
Someone asked the other day, "What was your favorite fast
food when you were growing up?"
"We
didn't have fast food when I was growing up," I informed
him.
"All
the food was slow."
"C'mon,
seriously. Where did you eat?"
"It
was a place called 'at home,' I explained!"
"Mom
cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down
together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what
she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did
like it."
By
this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was
going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him
the part about how I had to have permission to leave the
table.
But
here are some other things I would have told him about my
childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot
on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit
card.
In
their later years they had something called a revolving charge
card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was
Sears & Roebuck.
Either
way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.
My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly
because we never had heard of soccer.
I
had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had
one speed, (slow).
We didn't have a television in our house until I was 19.
It
was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the
air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem
about God; it came back on the air at about 6AM and there was
usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring
local people.
I
was 21 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza,
pie.'
When
I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese
slid off, swung
down,
plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's
still the best pizza I ever had.
I
never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house
was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you
could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you
didn't know weren't already using the line.
Pizzas
were not delivered to our home. But milk was.
All
newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered
newspapers —my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a
week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2
cents. He had to get up at 6AM every morning.
On
Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers.
His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and
told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were
the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.
Movie
stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the
movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were
responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without
profanity or violence or most anything offensive.
If
you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you
may want to share some of these memories with your children or
grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut
laughing. Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?
MEMORIES
From A Friend:
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she
died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown
Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a
bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was,
but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had
tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it
as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board
to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have
steam irons. Man, I am old. How many do you remember?
Head
lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition
switches on the dashboard.
Heaters
mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
Real
ice boxes.
Pant
leg clips for bicycles without chain OA guards.
Soldering
irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using
hand signals for cars without turn signals
|
Older
Than Dirt Quiz:
|
Count
all the ones that you remember not the ones you were
told about.
Ratings
at the bottom.
|
Blackjack
chewing gum
Wax
Coke-shaped bottles with colored
sugar water
Candy
cigarettes
Soda
pop machines that dispensed
glass bottles
Coffee
shops or diners with tableside
juke boxes
Home
milk delivery in glass bottles with
cardboard stoppers
Party
lines on the telephone
Newsreels
before the movie
P.F.
Flyers
Butch
wax
Peashooters
Howdy Doody |
45 RPM records
S&H
Green Stamps
Hi-fi's
Metal
ice trays with lever
Mimeograph
paper
Blue
flashbulb
Packards
Roller
skate keys
Cork
popguns
Drive-ins
Studebakers
Wash
tub wringers
TV
test patterns that came on at night
after the last show and were there until
TV shows started again in the morning,
(there
were only 3 channels, if you were fortunate) |
|
If
you remembered 0-5
= You're still young; 6-10 = You are getting older;
11-15 = Don't tell your age; 16-25
= You're older than dirt!
|
I
might be older than dirt but those memories are some
of the best parts of my
life.
|
|