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I
Love This Doctor!
This sounds like our family... we're all following Dr. Wu's
advice!
To my clients, I am often asked for advice on Exercise, Diet
& Nutrition and while not being a Nutritionist I have always
done my best to impart common sense advice.
However I recently attended a conference and met Dr.Wu and
I found someone who has the medical background to back up my common
sense approach to Diet and Exercise. Please take a moment to absorb
some Eastern wisdom and then put it to good use.
Q:
Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is
this true?
A: Your heart is only
good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on
exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart
will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the
life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a
nap.
Q:
Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp
logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what
are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient
mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat
chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q:
Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all..
Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they
take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the
goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q:
How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a
body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two
bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q:
What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can't think of a
single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q:
Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT
LISTENING!!!" Foods
are fried these days in
vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting
more vegetables be bad for you?
Q:
Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?
A: Definitely not! When
you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing
sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q:
Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO
Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feelgood food
around!
Q:
Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good
for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q:
Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a
shape!
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Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions
you may have had about food and diets. And remember: 'Life
should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand -
chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally
worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'
AND
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the
final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know
the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
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| The
Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Americans. |
| The
Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Americans. |
| The
Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks than Americans. |
| The
Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks than Americans. |
| The
Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of
sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks
than Americans. |
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CONCLUSION
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Eat
and drink what you like.
Speaking
English is apparently what kills you.
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One
Last Thing to Remember
If
You Follow my Advice (and you should),
You
Will Have
the
Body of a God
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!
Buddha ! |
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