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VISITING AUTHOR/EDITOR ARTICLE

NOVEMBER  2008

Dealing With Difficult People in Cultural Clubs

Forwarded From Carpathia Donauschwaben

by George Schemmel Jr.

GACC Präsidenten

One of the perennial issues in any ethnic club is the inherent friction between and amongst people. Some people are very smooth, agreeable, helpful, and eager to work together. Sadly many others are abrasive, critical, judgmental, demeaning, extremely opinionated, and all too eager to “share” their opinions at any cost. The first type usually rise to tasks at hand, and dig in and “do the work” of the clubs, even in the face of assured criticism. Because of them, our clubs endure. “Dynamic” is a very interesting word. In music, “dynamics” refers to softness or loudness of a note, tone, chord, phrase, or even piece. In physics, dynamic refers to movement. In computer programming, “dynamic” often refers to an “inter-active” experience. In club work, dynamic often borrows from all three of these areas. This is what forms the very “fiber” of our club experience.

Take away the complainers and nay-sayers, and what would we have? Bliss?  Harmony, even “perfect” harmony?  How boring would that be? So we recognize that the folks who clutch to the dark side, and remain critical of the performers are essential to the very depth and richness of our club lives. No? Sometimes we can find ourselves wishing that grouchy people would just “go away” so that we might free ourselves of the headaches they cause.

Getting busy with projects, events, management, etc. can help. It frees our mind from the reckless clutter caused by the nay-sayers. As a club officer, committee member, or organizer, you find yourself waking up at night. Issues and ideas relentlessly plague your mind. Thoughts come and go. You recognize that forgetting an important idea is costly, so you program yourself to wakeup and write down ideas and thoughts when they come to you. This is all done in the best interest of the club.

Why do we put the club ahead of other priorities in our lives? Have you ever attended a “Craft Show?” They are filled with people who have put hobbies and craft interests ahead of other priorities in their lives. We could be like them and leave the enduring frustrations behind. But yet, we are held firm to our beloved clubs. Why? Did you ever think about it? The nay-sayers seem to come because our clubs provide a venue for them to “vent” the venomous stuff which apparently “needs” to go somewhere. Somehow, they seem to feel better because (in their minds) they have “improved” the club by letting everyone know that they know better, and have a superior thought about how “wrong” things are being done. Sad that this is the stuff which erodes confidence and conviction in the productive workers.

The Committee workers keep coming because they have grander visions. They hold ideals in sports, cultural preservation in song and dance, etc.. They look to younger generations, and work to maintain and protect our heritage for the children to discover and enjoy. Think about which group fits you best. You ask, “Why only the two groups?” Good question. A third category might be the silent majority. Sure, there are others, but for our purposes, we need only focus on the first two. We each have a choice, which group would you prefer?  Long ago, I learned that we make choices each and every moment. Situations happen wherein we can either be “happy”, “sad”, “angry”, or even indifferent.

Life is nothing much beyond simple and continuous choices. And, if you don’t like what you’ve chosen, relief is only a moment away, you can change your mind!

George Schemmel Jr.