VISITING AUTHOR/EDITOR ARTICLE NOVEMBER 2008 Dealing With Difficult People in Cultural Clubs Forwarded From Carpathia Donauschwaben by George Schemmel Jr. GACC Präsidenten One
of the perennial issues in any ethnic club is the inherent friction between and
amongst people. Some people are very smooth, agreeable, helpful, and eager to
work together. Sadly many others are abrasive, critical, judgmental, demeaning,
extremely opinionated, and all too eager to “share” their opinions at any
cost. The first type usually rise to tasks at hand, and dig in and “do the
work” of the clubs, even in the face of assured criticism. Because of them,
our clubs endure. “Dynamic” is a very interesting word. In music,
“dynamics” refers to softness or loudness of a note, tone, chord, phrase, or
even piece. In physics, dynamic refers to movement. In computer programming,
“dynamic” often refers to an “inter-active” experience. In club work,
dynamic often borrows from all three of these areas. This is what forms the very
“fiber” of our club experience. Take
away the complainers and nay-sayers, and what would we have? Bliss?
Harmony, even “perfect” harmony?
How boring would that be? So we recognize that the folks who clutch to
the dark side, and remain critical of the performers are essential to the very
depth and richness of our club lives. No? Sometimes we can find ourselves
wishing that grouchy people would just “go away” so that we might free
ourselves of the headaches they cause. Getting
busy with projects, events, management, etc. can help. It frees our mind from
the reckless clutter caused by the nay-sayers. As a club officer, committee
member, or organizer, you find yourself waking up at night. Issues and ideas
relentlessly plague your mind. Thoughts come and go. You recognize that
forgetting an important idea is costly, so you program yourself to wakeup and
write down ideas and thoughts when they come to you. This is all done in the
best interest of the club. Why
do we put the club ahead of other priorities in our lives? Have you ever
attended a “Craft Show?” They are filled with people who have put hobbies
and craft interests ahead of other priorities in their lives. We could be like
them and leave the enduring frustrations behind. But yet, we are held firm to
our beloved clubs. Why? Did you ever think about it? The nay-sayers seem to come
because our clubs provide a venue for them to “vent” the venomous stuff
which apparently “needs” to go somewhere. Somehow, they seem to feel better
because (in their minds) they have “improved” the club by letting everyone
know that they know better, and have a superior thought about how “wrong”
things are being done. Sad that this is the stuff which erodes confidence and
conviction in the productive workers. The
Committee workers keep coming because they have grander visions. They hold
ideals in sports, cultural preservation in song and dance, etc.. They look to
younger generations, and work to maintain and protect our heritage for the
children to discover and enjoy. Think about which group fits you best. You ask,
“Why only the two groups?” Good question. A third category might be the
silent majority. Sure, there are others, but for our purposes, we need only
focus on the first two. We each have a choice, which group would you prefer?
Long ago, I learned that we make choices each and every moment. Situations
happen wherein we can either be “happy”, “sad”, “angry”, or even
indifferent. Life
is nothing much beyond simple and continuous choices. And, if you don’t like
what you’ve chosen, relief is only a moment away, you can change your mind! George
Schemmel Jr.
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