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LANDESVERBAND
NEWSLETTER AND MAGAZINE
LIFE
AND LEISURE
 02/24/13
April May June 2010
Volume 5 Number 2
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VISITING
AUTHOR/EDITOR ARTICLE
APRIL
2010
Poor
Easter Bunny
Forwarded
by Jon C. Zimmerman
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A
man is driving along
a highway and sees a
rabbit jump out
across the
middle of the road.
He
swerves to avoid
hitting it, but
unfortunately
the rabbit jumps
right in front of
the car.
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The
driver, a sensitive
man as well as an
animal lover,
pulls over and gets
out to see what has
become of the
rabbit.
Much to his dismay,
the rabbit is the Easter
Bunny,
and he is DEAD.
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driver feels so
awful that
he begins to cry. |
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A
beautiful blonde
woman driving down
the highway sees a
man crying on the
side of the road and
pulls over.
She
steps out of the car
and asks the man
what's wrong. |
"I
feel terrible,"
he explains,
"I accidentally
hit the Easter
Bunny with my
car and KILLED
HIM." |
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The
blonde says,
"Don't
worry."
She
runs to her car and
pulls out a spray
can.
She walks over to
the limp, dead
Easter Bunny,
bends down, and
sprays the contents
onto him. |
The
Easter Bunny jumps
up, waves its paw at
the two of them
and hops off down
the road. |
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Ten
feet away he stops,
turns around and
waves again,
he
hops down the road
another 10 feet,
turns and waves, hops
another ten feet,
turns and waves,
and
repeats this again
and again and again
and again, until he
hops out of sight. |
The
man is astonished.
He runs over
to the woman and
demands,
"What
is in that can?
What did you
spray on the Easter
Bunny?" |
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The
woman turns the can
around so that the
man can read the
label.
It says.. |
| (Are
you ready for this?) |
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(Are
you sure?) |
| (Last
chance) |
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(OK,
here it is) |
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says: |
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"Hair
Spray
Restores life to
dead hair, and adds
permanent
wave."
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VISITING
AUTHOR/EDITOR ARTICLE
APRIL
2010
Email
Virus Alerts
Forwarded
by Eduard Grünwald
I
thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus.
Even
the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take
care of this one.
It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1960.
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Symptoms:
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1.
Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.
done that!
2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail!
that too!
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3.
Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person. yep!
4. Causes you to send it back to the
person who sent it to you. DUH!
5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.
well darn!
6. Causes you to hit "SEND"
before you've finished. oh
no - not again!
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7.
Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead
of "SEND."
and
I just hate that!
8.
Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should
"DELETE." Oh
No!
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IT
IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS."
Hmmm....Have
I already sent this to you?
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VISITING
AUTHOR/EDITOR ARTICLE
APRIL
2010
The New
Seat Belt Law
Forwarded
by Jon C. Zimmerman
This
can really save lives and lower
blood pressure by 40%
!
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VISITING
AUTHOR/EDITOR ARTICLE
APRIL
2010
National Mental Health Care
Week
Submitted By Robert Kuenzli
This
coming week is National
Mental Health
Care
week.
You can do your part by remembering
to contact at least one unstable person
(See Above: Ha !)
to
show you care.
Well, ..... my job is done. Your turn!
Please
send an encouraging
message
to a disturbed friend. just as I've done. I don't care if
you lick windows or take the special bus.... you hang in
there sunshine, you're special…
Every sixty seconds you spend angry, upset or mad, is a full
minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Today's Message of the Day is: Life is short, Break the
rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh
uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you
smile
Send
to all the people you love and don't want to lose in 2010,
even me. If you get 3 back, you are a great friend.
Life
may not be
the
party we hoped for,
but
while we're here we might
as
well dance !
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VISITING
AUTHOR/EDITOR ARTICLE
APRIL
2010
The Traffic
Camera
Forwarded
by Jon C. Zimmerman
I was driving when I saw the
flash of a traffic camera. I
figured that my picture had been taken
for exceeding the limit even though I
knew that I was not speeding.
Just to be sure, I went around the block
and passed the same spot, driving even
more slowly, but again, the camera
flashed.
Now I began to think that this was quite
funny, so I drove even slower as I
passed the area once more, but the
traffic camera again flashed.
I tried a fourth and fifth time with the
same results and was now laughing as the
camera flashed while I rolled past at a
snail's pace.
Two weeks later, I got five tickets in
the mail for driving without a seat
belt.
You
can't fix stupid !
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